Our Kids are not a Steppingstone

Youth ministry is new to me.  I have served in various ways over the years, and honestly was rather reluctant to get involved in youth ministry at all, but I saw the need and stepped forward with the utmost awareness of my inadequacy and lack of experience.  I’ve walked with Jesus long enough to know that He shines the brightest when I have the least influence.  So with much trepidation and hopes that someone better would come along quickly, my husband and I prayed and stepped away from other things so we could be there for our daughters and their friends and do our best to show them who Jesus is. 

Now that we are two years into it, and I still have no idea what I’m doing, we have faced many highs and lows and many challenges and all along the Lord continually gives us little bits of encouragement to keep going in a ministry that is unlike any other I have ever been a part of.  It’s funny now to look back at how nervous I was in the past to teach at women’s events, when at least all the ladies were nice enough to smile at me regardless of what I was saying.  Now I try to relate to teenagers who are way too cool for me half the time and on their air pods the other half and it’s hard to know what’s sinking in and what’s ridiculous to them and how on earth I can reassure them of the love of Jesus in a really hard age where temptations run rampant at their fingertips and criticism is everywhere and the pressures and confusion and fears of this present age must be overwhelming to their young minds.  Man, I am so glad that there were not camera phones and social media when I was in high school!

And I find myself face to face with kids enduring heartbreak I could never imagine and hurt I have never experienced and my fellow youth leaders and I pray together and weep together and fast together and try to figure out how on earth Jesus can work through us in these hard situations where we desperately want to do something, anything, that will help. 

Encouragement is one of my spiritual gifts.  I ache to encourage people, to give you hope when you feel hopeless and reassure you that God is using you when you feel discouraged and just give you the slightest glimpse into God’s immense love and care and purpose for you.  So when my fellow youth leaders are facing hard things I scour the internet trying to find some encouragement to share with them that has some wisdom far beyond my limited experience.  And I find article after article referring to youth ministry as a steppingstone leading to greater things and I am so disheartened about that.

Youth ministry is not a steppingstone.  No ministry is a steppingstone.  The Lord will lead us to where He wants us at any given time, and any motivation to serve other than to walk with Jesus and follow His call is a sinful ambition.  ”Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who also had leaned back against him during the supper and had said, ‘Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?’ When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, ‘Lord, what about this man?’ Jesus said to him, ‘If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!’ (John 21:20–22).  It is no concern of ours what call anyone else has, our call is to follow Jesus and His specific call on each of our lives.

What disheartens me most, no, what angers me the most, is that if this attitude that our youth are “practice”, if you will, is prevalent in the church, what does that say about the value and significance we give to our children?  If we in the church don’t see our kids as of primary importance for discipleship and care, why are we at all surprised that programs and opportunities are lacking throughout our communities.  As if the teenage years are a sideshow and an experimental waste of time between the younger years where we enjoy their cuteness and the adult years where they can pull their own weight.  Yet I bet for most of us if we look back on our own lives, the teenage years were the hardest and it was then that we made a lot of decisions that shaped the rest of our lives. 

Teenagers are hard.  Famously hard.  It’s uncomfortable to watch as they try to figure out who they are, struggle with peer pressure and wanting desperately to fit in.  They go through physical changes very quickly and extremely obviously.  And quite frankly they can be really mean at times as their hormones go crazy and their hurt runs deep at the slightest offense and they struggle with even liking themselves the majority of the time.  Of course it’s tempting to look the other way and hope it all turns out alright.  But Jesus doesn’t look the other way when we go through our awkward phases.  God created us and our biology with a purpose and that includes the uncomfortable season of adolescence and puberty.  Rather than turning a blind eye to it, we can embrace it and draw near to the youth in our churches and raise up a generation that shines like a light in the darkness because they have seen what the love of Jesus looks like in action.

Our youth are not steppingstones.  They are not second-rate worshippers put on hold until they come into their own.  God has a mission and a purpose for them right now at this very point in their lives.  They have hurts and challenges and fears and passions that are very real and very present.  What they go through now is going to impact them for the rest of their lives, and we have not only the opportunity but the blessing to give them a listening ear and a loving heart to walk alongside them in whatever they’re going through.  Whatever youth are in your life, please consider how you can love them and spur them on today.